Alright, I know, I know, I haven't written in a few days. Because I like to add something personal to my blogs, I will tell the truth. I got stood up on Saturday. Have you ever been stood up? It fucking sucks beyond description. First you have the initial stage where you are all excited and nervous. Then you get a little worried because it's getting close to the time you are supposed to meet and he still isn't here yet. Then you slowly go into denial, saying "he's just a little late, he's just a little late." And finally, you have the realization that no matter how long you wait, he ain't comin. Dante never wrote about the circle of hell for people who stand their dates up. It's an eternity of sympathetic stares and telling the waiter no, you are not ready to order yet.
Anyways, enough about my pathetic life. Lets talk about Americans' pathetic lives. Do you watch American Idol? No? Wonderful. Breed! Do it now and do it often. We need to spread those genes.
If you do watch American Idol you either A) know that it's the worst of America wrapped into a two hour long show, but find it funny or B) generally care about the show and its contest.
If you are in the B group...ugh.
If you are in the A group, welcome! Pull up a chair. Have you been watching this season? It is a fucking train wreck. Randy Jackson's desperation for attention had left him barely human, Ellen is slowly realizing what horror she is now a part of, Kara's search for a personality has been heart breaking, and Simon is already at the coat check. It's wonderful.
And the contests! Crystal is actually good. She maybe the best the show has ever had. Or she just may be okay and we don't realize it because the other contests suck SO bad. Except for Tim Urban. Tim Urban is a gift from God. He has circled all the way around from awful to amazing. He can barely sing and he knows it. He's nothing but a hot body with inexplicable hair and he's taking America by storm.
There's this site, Vote For The Worst, that, with the help of teen girls and gays everywhere, has kept him safe and warm. Vote for Tim! This shows a joke, so why not laugh along?
And now my writing. No news yet. And this is not a situation where no news is good news. No emails, no calls, nothing. You know what, fuck it. Until I get some news about my writing, I'm not going to talk about it anymore. It will just be more long, rambling posts are irrelevant pop culture. That's what we all want anyways.
Your Friend,
McGonz
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Date Night Tommorow Night
Woot, I got a date for tomorrow night. Someone's going to get some! Someone's going to get a little lucky!
Well, that might've been a little inappropriate. Lets get back to my writing. I'm sending out my two Canadian Writer's Journal entries on Monday. That's kind of exciting.
Lets talk about an issue near and dear to my heart: how hard it is to meet guys, especially in a not overly large town. I mean, where do you meet people? Through friends? The pool of gay guys in small towns is pretty small. The likely hood of a friend knowing another gay person your same age is pretty slim. A bar? God no. Gay bars are just the worst. Night clubs are just the worst. Pubs aren't so bad, but unless your gaydar is finely tuned you are in for an awkward. I met my friend on plentyoffish.com. I got lucky.
So, wish me luck.
Your friend,
McGonz
Well, that might've been a little inappropriate. Lets get back to my writing. I'm sending out my two Canadian Writer's Journal entries on Monday. That's kind of exciting.
Lets talk about an issue near and dear to my heart: how hard it is to meet guys, especially in a not overly large town. I mean, where do you meet people? Through friends? The pool of gay guys in small towns is pretty small. The likely hood of a friend knowing another gay person your same age is pretty slim. A bar? God no. Gay bars are just the worst. Night clubs are just the worst. Pubs aren't so bad, but unless your gaydar is finely tuned you are in for an awkward. I met my friend on plentyoffish.com. I got lucky.
So, wish me luck.
Your friend,
McGonz
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Good day
Have you ever had one of those really fulfilling days, work wise? I just did. I didn't get a job or hear back from any magazine, but still...it was good. I finished my Writer's Journal story, polished up another story, and sent out, what I think, is an excellent sample piece for Product Wiki.
I know I was a downer with my effort shock post, but there's an upside to that. When you forget about the effort and the future and all that may or may not come with it and enjoy what you're doing in the moment. I think anyone with a passion can relate to that. Maybe you'll never be signed to a huge record label, but when it's you and that guitar, do you care? When you see yourself in a painting, do you care that it may never hang beside Van Gogh?
Not much else to say. Just a good day.
Your friend,
McGonz
I know I was a downer with my effort shock post, but there's an upside to that. When you forget about the effort and the future and all that may or may not come with it and enjoy what you're doing in the moment. I think anyone with a passion can relate to that. Maybe you'll never be signed to a huge record label, but when it's you and that guitar, do you care? When you see yourself in a painting, do you care that it may never hang beside Van Gogh?
Not much else to say. Just a good day.
Your friend,
McGonz
Monday, March 22, 2010
Effort Shock
If you've never visited Cracked.com or read David Wong's blog, than you are missing out. The specific post I'm talking about here is Effort Shock.
I agree with almost everything he said and find myself going through the same type of "shock." Something about our modern culture makes us believe that with a enough effort everything will just fall into our lap. We learn that we could be president one day if we just try hard enough. Innate intelligence and more importantly, luck, rarely enter the lessons we teach our children. We don't tell little Johnny that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how hard he works, he may just end up average. We never tell little Sarah that she has limitations and she should try to stay within them.
Should we tell our children this stuff? No, of course not. But it doesn't make it easier when you find out that no, life has no guarantees. The universe may smile on you one day or it may ignore you forever.
I'm working hard, I really am, and I will continue to do so. But I'm also scared. I have no net. I thought I would go into the world and be a writer and that would be that. I knew I would have to pay my dues, but it never really occurred to me that they wouldn't be paid back.
So I keep going forward, because every once in a while you get really lucky. No one ever became the president by not trying.
Your Friend,
McGonz
I agree with almost everything he said and find myself going through the same type of "shock." Something about our modern culture makes us believe that with a enough effort everything will just fall into our lap. We learn that we could be president one day if we just try hard enough. Innate intelligence and more importantly, luck, rarely enter the lessons we teach our children. We don't tell little Johnny that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how hard he works, he may just end up average. We never tell little Sarah that she has limitations and she should try to stay within them.
Should we tell our children this stuff? No, of course not. But it doesn't make it easier when you find out that no, life has no guarantees. The universe may smile on you one day or it may ignore you forever.
I'm working hard, I really am, and I will continue to do so. But I'm also scared. I have no net. I thought I would go into the world and be a writer and that would be that. I knew I would have to pay my dues, but it never really occurred to me that they wouldn't be paid back.
So I keep going forward, because every once in a while you get really lucky. No one ever became the president by not trying.
Your Friend,
McGonz
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Descriptive Language
I'm not sure if I have an interesting little tale to start off this post. Hmm...
Anywho, the goal for today is to work on my descriptive language skills. I find that is the weakest part of my writing, and the part I struggle the most with. I can write dialogue like a motherfucker, but when it comes down to describing a field, not so great.
Yeah...not much going on today. Same old thing. I'm hoping tomorrow is better.
Your friend,
McGonz
Anywho, the goal for today is to work on my descriptive language skills. I find that is the weakest part of my writing, and the part I struggle the most with. I can write dialogue like a motherfucker, but when it comes down to describing a field, not so great.
Yeah...not much going on today. Same old thing. I'm hoping tomorrow is better.
Your friend,
McGonz
Friday, March 19, 2010
HeavenSkyy
Well, I'm published. Kind of. I found this cool new website, kind of like a community blog, where you can post any kind of writing and have people comment on it. They also have some contests. It's not the New York Times, but it's still pretty neat, and hopefully a couple of positive comments will stop me from getting to discouraged. You can find it at heavenskyy.com.
I'm on my second draft of the short story I've been writing. It can only be 1,500 words, so I've adopted Hemingway's Iceberg Theory. Obviously, I'm no Hemingway, but I've actually been enjoying the constraint of the word count. It's interesting to think more about what you don't want to say than what you do want to say. He did say Baby Shoes ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") was his best work.
My short story is about a woman banished from a wonderful place. We don't know why. The story follows her leaving and the realizations she has. I realized today a lot of my fiction revolves around loss. Whether it be the loss of home, death, or a estranged friend. It's kind of weird. Also, my stories are never very happy. But I find that less weird. I mean, fairy tales are bullshit. There is no happily ever after. I don't mean to be emo, because that's not who I am at all, but I've always found that true happiness is short lived. Which is should be. I mean, what is happiness without struggle? What is sleep without ever being awake. God! I sound like I just took philosophy 101. Not to be a tool, but I think a lot of life is bittersweet. And that's enough rambling for me.
So, the weekend is here, and as a poor unemployed bastard that means very little.
Have one one me.
Your friend,
McGonz
I'm on my second draft of the short story I've been writing. It can only be 1,500 words, so I've adopted Hemingway's Iceberg Theory. Obviously, I'm no Hemingway, but I've actually been enjoying the constraint of the word count. It's interesting to think more about what you don't want to say than what you do want to say. He did say Baby Shoes ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") was his best work.
My short story is about a woman banished from a wonderful place. We don't know why. The story follows her leaving and the realizations she has. I realized today a lot of my fiction revolves around loss. Whether it be the loss of home, death, or a estranged friend. It's kind of weird. Also, my stories are never very happy. But I find that less weird. I mean, fairy tales are bullshit. There is no happily ever after. I don't mean to be emo, because that's not who I am at all, but I've always found that true happiness is short lived. Which is should be. I mean, what is happiness without struggle? What is sleep without ever being awake. God! I sound like I just took philosophy 101. Not to be a tool, but I think a lot of life is bittersweet. And that's enough rambling for me.
So, the weekend is here, and as a poor unemployed bastard that means very little.
Have one one me.
Your friend,
McGonz
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Mao
Aw...spring is here. In mid March...which is a bit strange, but who are we to complain? I've decided that I'm going to quit smoking, start jogging again, and get into sick shape. I kind of want to look like Tim Urban from American Idol. God...that body is fucking amazing. I wouldn't own a single shirt if I looked like that. If I could vote, I would vote for him. I mean, he sucks, but my lord. And the hair! Anytime my hair gets to long I look homeless.
Anywho, the reason my title is "Mao" is because I just got done reading a fantastic biography: Mao The Unknown Story. I would highly suggest it to anyone with even a mild interest in history or modern day China. It follows Mao (the man who brought communism to China after World War 2) through his life as a peasant boy to his lonely death. He is responsible for the death of an estimated 70 million people, which makes him, in sheer cost of human life, worse than either Stalin or Hitler. Now, the book is being fiercely debated, with some people calling it rubbish. I don't know, I checked out some of the numbers, and while the authors do state the higher figures in their estimates, every event they record is completely true. I think the problem for a lot of people is the tone the writers take. It's unabashed hate. Which...worse than Hitler. I don't care if the man is still worshiped in China (which makes China pretty damn scary) he was a monster.
Wow...that was a huge block of text. Lets move on. With no writing yesterday, I decided to go full steam ahead today. I've applied for a non paying job, a paying job, and am still working on my entry in the Canadian Writer's Journal short fiction contest.
I'm kind of excited about the non paying gig. I've submitted a short story that I feel is pretty damn good, but no one seems to want to publish. I don't know, maybe it's the case of loving your child so much you don't realize he's been sniffing glue. If it's not published, I'm publishing it here. Someone, somewhere has to love my glue sniffing baby like I do.
Alright, back to work.
Your friend,
McGonz
Anywho, the reason my title is "Mao" is because I just got done reading a fantastic biography: Mao The Unknown Story. I would highly suggest it to anyone with even a mild interest in history or modern day China. It follows Mao (the man who brought communism to China after World War 2) through his life as a peasant boy to his lonely death. He is responsible for the death of an estimated 70 million people, which makes him, in sheer cost of human life, worse than either Stalin or Hitler. Now, the book is being fiercely debated, with some people calling it rubbish. I don't know, I checked out some of the numbers, and while the authors do state the higher figures in their estimates, every event they record is completely true. I think the problem for a lot of people is the tone the writers take. It's unabashed hate. Which...worse than Hitler. I don't care if the man is still worshiped in China (which makes China pretty damn scary) he was a monster.
Wow...that was a huge block of text. Lets move on. With no writing yesterday, I decided to go full steam ahead today. I've applied for a non paying job, a paying job, and am still working on my entry in the Canadian Writer's Journal short fiction contest.
I'm kind of excited about the non paying gig. I've submitted a short story that I feel is pretty damn good, but no one seems to want to publish. I don't know, maybe it's the case of loving your child so much you don't realize he's been sniffing glue. If it's not published, I'm publishing it here. Someone, somewhere has to love my glue sniffing baby like I do.
Alright, back to work.
Your friend,
McGonz
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A Day Without Writing
I'm not sure if it was the McDonald's I ate, or the left over McDonald's I ate later, but I'm just not feeling the writing today. I know you have to keep at it, but...eh, anything I would write today would suck anyways.
So if I'm not going to write about writing, what am I going to write about? Huh...
Lets just call today a wash.
Your friend,
McGonz
So if I'm not going to write about writing, what am I going to write about? Huh...
Lets just call today a wash.
Your friend,
McGonz
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
50 Great Short Stories
Has anyone else read the book 50 Great Short Stories? I know this is almost blasphemous, but I am really not impressed. Maybe it's because I have trouble appreciating the stories in the times and social setting they were written, but The Garden Party, The Standard of Living, and Brooksmith are completely meaningless to me. They're well written, but I can't identify with any of the characters or the settings. If nothing can be taken away from a short story, isn't it now dated and archaic? I hate to speak for everyone, since many people might love these stories, but to me the only reason these are considered great is because they've always been considered great.
Wow...weird tangent. Anyways, the writing life is going good. I sent away for a job today and I'm hoping this will be the one I hear back from. I have a feeling it won't though. I'm putting most of my hopes in a short story contest as my big break through. I'm thinking if my huge, 11 page story gets rejected I might just put it on here. It's not the idea place to be published, but at least it's out there.
I'm always feeling my way around blogging. I've spent the last hour trying to figure out how to check how many visitors I've had to the site. Right now it would only be me, but hey, maybe interest will catch on. I have to tell you, Google Analytic is a bitch to figure out.
Well, no big plans for the week, other than writing. Also, no big news in my life. Hoping this start looking up.
Until later,
Your Friend,
McGonz
Wow...weird tangent. Anyways, the writing life is going good. I sent away for a job today and I'm hoping this will be the one I hear back from. I have a feeling it won't though. I'm putting most of my hopes in a short story contest as my big break through. I'm thinking if my huge, 11 page story gets rejected I might just put it on here. It's not the idea place to be published, but at least it's out there.
I'm always feeling my way around blogging. I've spent the last hour trying to figure out how to check how many visitors I've had to the site. Right now it would only be me, but hey, maybe interest will catch on. I have to tell you, Google Analytic is a bitch to figure out.
Well, no big plans for the week, other than writing. Also, no big news in my life. Hoping this start looking up.
Until later,
Your Friend,
McGonz
Monday, March 15, 2010
Another Monday
Ah...Monday, when the gainfully employed march back to their offices and when the unemployed look ahead to the week ahead. Is there a job in the near future? Where will it come from? The questions Monday brings.
I did find an ad for a social media enthusiast/tea enthusiast. Kind of strange pairing, but I think I would be somewhat decent at it. I know social media, obviously, and I know tea. I actually know a shocking bit about tea. Also, I know morse code. There's a distinct possibility I'm not very cool.
But I'm also looking for a real job i.e. somewhere you go for 8 hours, do something menial, get payed very little. It looks like I'm back in the fast food services. I thought I had escaped when I got a job at Cole's bookstore (best job ever), but I've been dragged back in. Student loan payments are coming up, and I feel like watching the Amazing Race won't pay for them.
I found out that no one in my family reads my blog. I also have no followers. So here's to you, the hollowing darkness of the internet!
Your Friend,
McGonz
I did find an ad for a social media enthusiast/tea enthusiast. Kind of strange pairing, but I think I would be somewhat decent at it. I know social media, obviously, and I know tea. I actually know a shocking bit about tea. Also, I know morse code. There's a distinct possibility I'm not very cool.
But I'm also looking for a real job i.e. somewhere you go for 8 hours, do something menial, get payed very little. It looks like I'm back in the fast food services. I thought I had escaped when I got a job at Cole's bookstore (best job ever), but I've been dragged back in. Student loan payments are coming up, and I feel like watching the Amazing Race won't pay for them.
I found out that no one in my family reads my blog. I also have no followers. So here's to you, the hollowing darkness of the internet!
Your Friend,
McGonz
Friday, March 12, 2010
Lost Friday
Alright, lets get one thing straight: Lost is the most amazing show this earth has ever seen. If Lost was a religion, my ass would be in that church every week. I got my dad and his girlfriend hooked tonight. They lost (ha!) their minds when they found out Locke used to be in a wheelchair. I can't wait to see their reaction when Ethan shows up? Bam!
Lost is also great when you're kind of depressed. The search for a writing job isn't going great. I was expecting the rejection, but I wasn't expecting how hard it was to find jobs to be rejected from. Ninety percent of the jobs want a resume sent to them. Which I get...you want to hire someone who has a clue what they're going. But how exactly do you find a job when you need a resume and you feed jobs to build a resume? I think that's a Catch-22. I don't know...it's been five years since I read that book. Was it good? I can't remember if it was good. People say it's good.
But I'm not giving up. You don't need a resume to enter a writing contest! My dad is looking over my story that I'm going to submit to a literary magazine, and I'm going to start on the Canadian Writer's Journal short story contest. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about yet, but I have a feeling there's going to be a likable protagonist who meets some obstacles and becomes a better person for it.
Until than...Lost. And a generous amount of wine.
Your Friend,
McGonz
Lost is also great when you're kind of depressed. The search for a writing job isn't going great. I was expecting the rejection, but I wasn't expecting how hard it was to find jobs to be rejected from. Ninety percent of the jobs want a resume sent to them. Which I get...you want to hire someone who has a clue what they're going. But how exactly do you find a job when you need a resume and you feed jobs to build a resume? I think that's a Catch-22. I don't know...it's been five years since I read that book. Was it good? I can't remember if it was good. People say it's good.
But I'm not giving up. You don't need a resume to enter a writing contest! My dad is looking over my story that I'm going to submit to a literary magazine, and I'm going to start on the Canadian Writer's Journal short story contest. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about yet, but I have a feeling there's going to be a likable protagonist who meets some obstacles and becomes a better person for it.
Until than...Lost. And a generous amount of wine.
Your Friend,
McGonz
Thursday, March 11, 2010
So It Begins...
I've never had a blog before. I guess it's sort of like a diary, except the entire world can see it. So...not so much a diary.
Anyways, I'm 21 years old, Canadian (and damn proud of it), just out of college, a man,a gay man (and damn proud of it) and currently unemployed. I started this blog because I want to chronicle my journey becoming a writer. I guess so in the years ahead I can look back and see how low I started. Or laugh about how foolish I was with my hopes and dreams. There's a 50% I'm going to end up managing a McDonald's. Maybe that should be higher, but I'm an optimist.
They say everyone in the arts has to pay their dues. My dad is fond of telling me his KFC story, which is about how Colonel Sanders went to a thousand restaurants to pitch his deep fried chicken. He heard a thousand nos before he got one yes. It feels like this story isn't overly true, but it is inspiring after the 12th rejection this month.
To be fair, I don't have any place to whine yet. I haven't been at it very long, and while I threw a wide net concerning what jobs I would take as a freelance writer (horoscope writer and porn site reviewer were in there) I can't be too discouraged I haven't head back yet.
Tonight I'm going to finish my second to last draft of a short story I'm sending to a literary magazine. If anything comes of it, my readers will be the first to know (I think it's basically just you, Mom.) And this weekend I'm going to get wine drunk with my best friend Melissa and bitch about guys. They are the worst.
So, you know, wish me luck in my writing and drinking.
Your friend,
McGonz
Anyways, I'm 21 years old, Canadian (and damn proud of it), just out of college, a man,a gay man (and damn proud of it) and currently unemployed. I started this blog because I want to chronicle my journey becoming a writer. I guess so in the years ahead I can look back and see how low I started. Or laugh about how foolish I was with my hopes and dreams. There's a 50% I'm going to end up managing a McDonald's. Maybe that should be higher, but I'm an optimist.
They say everyone in the arts has to pay their dues. My dad is fond of telling me his KFC story, which is about how Colonel Sanders went to a thousand restaurants to pitch his deep fried chicken. He heard a thousand nos before he got one yes. It feels like this story isn't overly true, but it is inspiring after the 12th rejection this month.
To be fair, I don't have any place to whine yet. I haven't been at it very long, and while I threw a wide net concerning what jobs I would take as a freelance writer (horoscope writer and porn site reviewer were in there) I can't be too discouraged I haven't head back yet.
Tonight I'm going to finish my second to last draft of a short story I'm sending to a literary magazine. If anything comes of it, my readers will be the first to know (I think it's basically just you, Mom.) And this weekend I'm going to get wine drunk with my best friend Melissa and bitch about guys. They are the worst.
So, you know, wish me luck in my writing and drinking.
Your friend,
McGonz
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