Stood ups and Vote for the Worst

Alright, I know, I know, I haven't written in a few days. Because I like to add something personal to my blogs, I will tell the truth. I got stood up on Saturday. Have you ever been stood up? It fucking sucks beyond description. First you have the initial stage where you are all excited and nervous. Then you get a little worried because it's getting close to the time you are supposed to meet and he still isn't here yet. Then you slowly go into denial, saying "he's just a little late, he's just a little late." And finally, you have the realization that no matter how long you wait, he ain't comin. Dante never wrote about the circle of hell for people who stand their dates up. It's an eternity of sympathetic stares and telling the waiter no, you are not ready to order yet.

Anyways, enough about my pathetic life. Lets talk about Americans' pathetic lives. Do you watch American Idol? No? Wonderful. Breed! Do it now and do it often. We need to spread those genes.

If you do watch American Idol you either A) know that it's the worst of America wrapped into a two hour long show, but find it funny or B) generally care about the show and its contest.

If you are in the B group...ugh.

If you are in the A group, welcome! Pull up a chair. Have you been watching this season? It is a fucking train wreck. Randy Jackson's desperation for attention had left him barely human, Ellen is slowly realizing what horror she is now a part of, Kara's search for a personality has been heart breaking, and Simon is already at the coat check. It's wonderful.

And the contests! Crystal is actually good. She maybe the best the show has ever had. Or she just may be okay and we don't realize it because the other contests suck SO bad. Except for Tim Urban. Tim Urban is a gift from God. He has circled all the way around from awful to amazing. He can barely sing and he knows it. He's nothing but a hot body with inexplicable hair and he's taking America by storm.

There's this site, Vote For The Worst, that, with the help of teen girls and gays everywhere, has kept him safe and warm. Vote for Tim! This shows a joke, so why not laugh along?

And now my writing. No news yet. And this is not a situation where no news is good news. No emails, no calls, nothing. You know what, fuck it. Until I get some news about my writing, I'm not going to talk about it anymore. It will just be more long, rambling posts are irrelevant pop culture. That's what we all want anyways.

Your Friend,

McGonz